Dave Barry quotes

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."

"Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face."

"Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough"

"The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number"

"The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter"

"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes"

"The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example"

"We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth"

"We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail"